Building A Plan

I finished the book on Friday night.  My first plan of attack was to create a food budget for myself and doing something that totally makes sense, but I had never tried – meal planning!

I set up a little chart in a notebook and wrote down what I could consistently make for the next two weeks to eat, what I already had in my house, and what I needed. 

I then thought of foods that could last longer, could be used for more than one type of meal, and made a grocery list.

Honestly, I think I did quite well. I already had a lot of in stock, so I just needed a few filler items.  I mainly needed to buy vegetables – as I am officially off my blood thinners tomorrow and can go back to my fairly vegetarian ways.  I don’t think I will give up meat again completely yet – my vertigo is still bothering me.

This grocery trip was not too bad. I think I spend a lot more money on other non food items. Today, I had to buy breast milk bags, more pacifiers (we somehow lost 2 of them), and guinea pig bedding.  Those silly rascals, require so much work!

So, the plan is to use the food menu and hopefully be able to start getting a stable grocery budget built. I also got a crock-pot from my mom, which I have high hopes for. I would like to someday make a lot of my own foods, like breads, so I could cut back on costs.  Someday, someday.

As for my anxiety and depression, they are pretty much off the chart. I am waiting for Wednesday to be over! I am trying to think of a nice way to signify that part of my life ending and focusing on clearing out some of the other drama/clutter in my life.

And I got to reunite with some old friends:

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Frustrate

I don’t like when good things happen in one part of my life and bad parts happen in another.  We are all flawed human beings, and some people need to stop taking things so personally.

I hate being lectured that I need to be positive. Then they push me to feel guilty every time they get their feelings hurt by my actions. I don’t let every little thing bother me, but it’s okay to make me bad when they feel bad.

I do not understand when people claim they want everyone else to be positive, but let every one else control their emotions.  I did not overreact when he was being all mopey earlier in the week, I just let him mope. 

Ugh. Relationships with people who have no idea how to function with other persons are frustrating.  But I cannot let it ruin my day. Not my goal in life.  I have too many other things going on I need to focus on then menial emotions and feelings.

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New location

I officially have my own place to live.  It is exciting and scary. I have to go shopping for household products.  I get to decorate and live how I want to.  No rules. No restrictions. I don’t know if this is good for me or not, but I really feel it is time to set down my place and make a little home for me.

I made a list of things to buy. 

The only place I have ever felt was truly home is Two Moon Park in Billings. I love that place. It is healing and rejuvenating. It blesses me. I cannot wait to go back there and play again. I always look forward to it, like a favorite relative or long lost friend.

 

 

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Start Here

I am starting here. The last month has been crazy starts. No codependent relationships. No hellish living situations. No nagging. No acusations.  It’s pretty darn blissfull.

I started my own campaign to go green and find the earth. I look forward to it. I love the sun and the wind, and I want to preserve it.

I am finding optimism.  And joy.

I am looking into a life coach – it is a six month committment!!!!! Scary, but potentially will help me learn to cope with myself.

I am looking at a place to live in tonight. My own place.  It scares me. Thrills me. Entices me. Makes me want to jump with glee. 

I have no idea what I am doing, but starting to form little pieces of a new life.

So I will start here.

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